Patterns That Quietly Undermine Your Confidence
A quiet prompt for reflection...
- What habits are still blooming because they used to protect you?
- And what could you grow if you weren’t holding space for them anymore?
By the way, resilience in the face of failure is possible with a private, 10-minute daily routine. Download the Remarkable Resilience Routine designed to boost your resilience as a leader. This routine is a quick daily exercise for building a resilient mindset. By integrating this practice into your daily routine, you'll develop the resilience you need to excel in your leadership role.
I Want Remarkable Resilience!When the Weed Is Pretty: Why We Hold On to Patterns That Quietly Take Over
There’s a bright pink flower blooming in the park across the street. It’s cheerful. Eye-catching. Honestly, kind of gorgeous. It’s also a weed. 🌸
I took it's picture because it's beautiful, but it doesn’t belong there. And if it stays too long, it’ll take over—crowding out the slower-growing plants that need more time, more care, and more space to thrive.
So many social media posts tell us to get rid of the weeds in our lives—habits, relationships, beliefs—as if they’re easy to spot or obviously harmful.
But some of them don't look like problems at first.
Some patterns helped us succeed. Some felt necessary. Some blended in so well we started mistaking them for personality traits.
👉 That perfectionism that got you through grad school.
👉 The people-pleasing that kept you safe in a toxic early job.
👉 The hyper-independence that helped you prove yourself.
These habits grow deep roots. They survive by being useful. They stay because they were protective when nothing else was.
Lately I’ve been pondering: What am I still holding onto because it once helped - but doesn't anymore?
And more importantly: What would I have space for if I pulled it out?
Because leadership is a garden.
You can't grow what you want by admiring what you never meant to plant.
You might see your own reflection in the story of Kim Radcliffe, SVP of Clinical & Product Development:
"I was always seeking approval from other people. Stacy helped me to move from thinking that I am good enough and have confidence to actually feeling it and believing it. I'm able to use the tools she gave me in many facets of my life, including with my teenage daughter."
For the deeper dive crowd...
Some of the most persistent “weeds” I see in leadership look nothing like problems on the surface. They often come disguised as strengths.
- A few that show up again and again:
Always having the answer - Taking pride in being the go-to
- Pushing through without asking for help
- Keeping the peace instead of speaking up
- Putting everyone else first—because it feels easier than disappointment
These patterns often begin with good intentions. They help us succeed, earn trust, feel in control. But over time, they can quietly shift from helpful to harmful. Not in a dramatic, rock-bottom kind of way—but in a slow drift from clarity, peace, and personal power.
There’s a reason they’re hard to let go.
The brain remembers what worked.
Even if it came at a cost.
Even if it no longer fits the version of you that’s trying to grow.
That’s not weakness. That’s wiring.
Which means letting go of these patterns isn’t about forcing change—it’s about re-learning safety. Teaching your nervous system that you’re allowed to pause. Allowed to rest. Allowed to lead from something other than effort.
And that kind of change? It sticks.
Lead with Courage and Authenticity
Ready to clear space for something better?
Sometimes, the habits that once helped you succeed are now the very things holding you back. Recognizing that is a powerful step. Acting on it takes courage.
If you're starting to notice the patterns that no longer serve you—and you're ready to explore what life and leadership could feel like without them—I invite you to an Explore Coaching call.
This call is a chance to talk about what’s showing up for you and what kind of support might help. We’ll focus on your current challenges, what’s been weighing on you, and what you’d like to create instead.
On the call, we’ll:
- Look at what’s feeling heavy or stuck in your leadership
- Get curious about where those patterns may have come from
- Talk honestly about what kind of support could actually make a difference
This call is for people who are serious about shifting out of survival mode and into a more intentional, grounded way of leading.
If that’s you, click here to choose a time that works best.
Let’s make space for what you actually want to grow.
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