Why Grit Isn’t Enough: Recognizing the Signs of a Toxic Work Environment
What a Neglected Goldfish Taught Me About Emotional Resilience at Work
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I Want Strong Boundaries!Burnout Isn’t Always About You—Sometimes It’s the System
When my husband and I moved into our temporary place last week, the last thing I expected to inherit was a goldfish.
The past (college-age) renters left behind a lot—junk in closets, dust in corners, and a small tank with cloudy water. At first, I didn’t even see the fish. The water was that murky.
But then—there she was. Barely moving. Still alive.
So I changed her water. Gave her clean space, some gravel, and a name: Hope.
As she started to come back to life, I kept thinking about how often we expect people to power through the murk.
We’ve been taught to believe that if you’re strong enough, tough enough, gritty enough—you can make anything work. And if you’re struggling? Try harder. Push through. Be “resilient.”
But here’s what I’ve learned:
Grit can’t clean the water.
She was surviving in that old tank, technically. But no amount of internal resilience could fix an environment that was slowly poisoning her.
Same goes for us.
I’ve been thinking about how often I’ve asked myself to keep swimming in murky water over the years.
You can be the most capable, thoughtful, emotionally intelligent person in the room—and still feel like you’re floundering if the environment is draining you.
If the systems, the unspoken rules, or the dynamics around you are toxic, no amount of effort will make it feel better.
If you’ve been pushing through, holding your breath, telling yourself it’s “not that bad,” maybe you’re not the problem.
Maybe it’s the water.
Something that might echo your own experience in this candid recount from Jeanette Stein, a former product director turned entrepreneur, as she navigated the challenges of workplace culture:
"I noticed I was bringing home that discontent and frustration from lack of opportunity to move up. Stacy's coaching helped me to realize that I don't have to play by everyone else's rules. It allowed me to take control back. Looking outside the box to make things happen has been the most powerful piece."
Ready to Stop Swimming in Murky Water?
If this stirred something in you, it’s not random. Many leaders are doing their best in environments that quietly drain them—and wondering why grit isn’t working.
If you’re sorting through what’s yours to carry and what might just be dirty water, I invite you to schedule an Explore Coaching Call.
This isn’t a pitch or a performance. It’s a real conversation about what’s weighing you down, what you’re craving more of, and whether coaching can help.
In our 45 minutes together, we’ll:
- Talk through what’s not working—and why
- Explore how you're showing up (and what you're carrying)
- Identify whether coaching would be the right kind of support for where you are now
- You don’t have to keep powering through. There’s another way.
👉 Click here to schedule your Explore Coaching Call
Let’s make space for clear water.
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